Stress: What We Can and Cannot Control/Change

It seems to me that when it comes to stress, anxiety, anger, and even depression, these feelings are in large part related to trying to control what we cannot control. As human beings, I think we feel a little more peaceful and comforted when we feel as though we have a certain amount of control in our lives (some more than others!) This is not a bad thing, it is important to have the sense of security and safety that some control brings. It's when we feel “out of control” that the stress starts to increase and we begin to feel overwhelmed, frustrated and “stressed out.” The following illustrations are adapted from Stephen R. Covey's book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and the “Serenity Prayer”:

Stress!

If we spend our time and energy on the things that we cannot control or change we will become stressed, anxious, angry and or depressed! What do we try and control over and over again in our lives and have absolutely no success in our efforts? Yes, other people. Now, it may seem that we can control other's actions, but this is really just an illusion. They may change for a short period of time, but eventually they will return to their old behavior if they choose to. It is up to them to change themselves, not you! Remember: YOU CAN ONLY CONTROL YOU!

Peace!

On the other hand, when we spend our time and energy on the things that we can control and change, we experience much more peace and a sense of well being in our life. Ultimately we will be happier! The Serenity Prayer states:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Most people only know the first four lines, but I think the rest of it is very powerful as well! More will be discussed about this in the future.

I know this is not the cure all for stress, anxiety, anger and depression, but I believe when we start to look at our life and acknowledge what we can and cannot control or change, it will be a great start to reducing these unpleasant feelings. I hope this post is helpful! Please comment your thoughts on this if this is helpful.

Make it a great day!